Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bad Lounge Jokes

These are terrible jokes I wanted to try out when Tigris Euphrates and I were DJing some of the more inauspicious night spots in Denver. You may have read about our show in Westword back in '02. But you sure as hell didn't come see our gigs. No one did. I don't know what these jokes would have given our show. We didn't speak much and when we did it was usually to tell the few passers by who stumbled into our scene that last call was in ten minutes. I think the hope was that if things really got moving we'd be able to expand from lo-fi lounge and exotica to a comedy schtick. Don't ask. (We did have a rather nice troupe of burlesque dancers at one gig, though.)

Jokes:

So a skeleton walks into a bar and says, “give me a cocktail and give me a mop.”

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A termite walks into a bar and asks, “is the bar tender here?”

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Tigris, how many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

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Tigris, where do you find a no-legged dog?
Right where you left him.

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Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.

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Hey Tigris, I got a part in a play as the husband?
Too bad it wasn’t a speaking role.

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My wife said lets go out and have some fun tonight,
Sure, I said, but if you get home first leave the hall light on.

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